Embryo Adoption

KANSAS CITY, Mo. - Starting a family can be one of the most exciting decisions a couple makes. However the end result is not always easy. Infertility can lead couples down a long road filled with hopes and setbacks.

Then, even after a family is complete, some couples find one more crucial decision waiting. Now, more and more couples battling their own baby blues are offering a win-win solution. It's called embryo adoption.

In Olathe, Julie Crainshaw reads 3-year-old Elijah a storybook.

"They ask for a seat and a bite to eat," she reads with perfect inflection.

One of Eli’s favorite stories is his own. Julie says Eli is always asking her "Tell me the story about how I came in our family."

You see Julie and Kirk Crainshaw adopted Eli and his baby brother Andrew. Andrew is a twin, whose brother Micah died earlier this year at the age of 4-months-old. While the Crainshaw’s boys are adopted, Julie also gave birth to the boys.

In Shawnee, Jay and Lisa White celebrate their triplets' 5th birthday with birthday cake and bikes and lots of family members. Joshua, Jordan and McKenzie are also adopted, as was big brother Caleb. Just like the Crainshaws, Lisa also gave birth to the triplets.

“She tells them, and it's quite funny because they want to hear the story again,” Jay says. “And they're always asking questions about 'How God put us in your tummy.’”

It sounds complex, but wait. There's more. The White's triplets and the Crainshaw's son Eli are actually biological siblings. Siblings conceived through in vitro fertilization by their genetic parents Jerry and LeAnne Vossen of Texas. They offered up their leftover frozen embryos for adoption after they completed their family.

We first introduced you to the Whites and the Vossens five years ago when Lisa White was pregnant with the triplets. At the time, embryo adoption was in its infancy. Couples like Jerry and LeAnne faced tough decisions about what to do with their leftover embryos after successful fertility treatments.

Kris Probasco has been arranging adoptions for 36 years.

“The families that make these embryos that end up with adoption are committed to life,” she says. “They believe that life did start when those embryos were made.”

More recently, she's focused on embryo adoptions as more and more couples look for alternatives to destroying them.

“They do have to work with the dilemma that my children's siblings will be raised in another family,” Probasco explains. “And how can I wrap my mind around that? And be okay?”

When the Whites completed their family, and with more embryos remaining from their original adoption, they connected the Vossens with the Crainshaws.

Julie Crainshaw says they were elated, "Embryo adoption was really exciting to us because we got to experience pregnancy, and yet it was an open adoption, so our kids would know where they came from, where they started."

The Crainshaws and the Whites both chose open adoptions with the Vossens.  Five years ago, the Vossens visited the Whites for the first time when the triplets were three months old. Today, they stay in touch like extended family.  The Crainshaws also spent time with the Vossens when their son Eli was 18-months-old. They all admit it might sound a little awkward, but any fears were quickly relieved. 

“It was nerve wracking at first,” Kirk Crainshaw remembered. “But LeAnne is so easy going.”

In 2003, there were an estimated 100,000 embryos frozen in storage around the country. Today, that number has grown to 500,000. The Whites and the Crainshaws hope more families will release their embryos for adoption.

"I just wish women would research it a little bit more,” Lisa White says. “I've talked to, I can think of a couple women right now, that they say all they want to be is a mom."

While embryo adoption offers a win-win situation for many couples, Probasco admits it’s not for everyone. 

“It's not guaranteed. If an embryo is placed, it's not guaranteed that we will have a successful pregnancy," Probasco says.

But for these couples and their families, they say it's an option definitely worth exploring.

“Rather than just getting a bill from the frozen storage service every year, will know that there is an option for them and there is a way for these children to have a chance,” says Jay White.

There are some anonymous embryo donations, where the genetic parents never know the outcome. But open adoptions are much more common. That gives the children access to things like their medical history, and the genetic parents some idea of the children's whereabouts and how they're being raised.

For more information on embryo adoption, visit Snowflakes, the California based adoption agency that first matched the Whites and the Vossens. Or contact Kris Probasco with Adoption and Fertility Resources at (816)781-8550.

How do you feel about embryo adoptions? Comment below and let us know. We'd like to hear from you.