Every morning before Heath Forester goes to work, he sends a text message to his wife, Patricia.
It’s always the same message:
My Beloved
I once wondered what knowing was, I once wondered what a souls validation was, I once wondered what love was, I once wondered many things about life but they have all been answered by this relationship and I know without question I LOVE YOU without exception, esed (every second every day).
Heath, 46, says the poem he wrote serves as a reminder that he loves Patricia, 50, more today than he did yesterday.
Heath and Patricia Forester enjoying dinner. (Source: Heath and Patricia Forester)
Every year on Valentine’s Day the couple renews their vows with Duke Tufty at Unity Temple. The church has been hosting free marriages, civil unions and vow renewals on Valentine's Day for the past 17 years.
The Harrisonville residents have only been married for five years, but their friendship is more than 20 years old.
They met each other at church and were married to different people. As time went by and life changed, they decided to give their relationship a chance.
Patricia said Heath called her up on the phone one day and said, "Should we give this a try?"
When they were married in April 2012, they promised each other that they would share their daily lives with one another.
“He adds to the joy in my life,” Patricia said. “Sure, I’m whole and he is whole without me or without each other. We’re whole. But with each other we take it to a different level.”
They said they see their relationship as the reward in itself; just being able to be together is what they focus on. They talk on the phone at least three times a day, kiss each other goodbye every day, and sometimes spend hours in the kitchen talking while trying to make dinner.
Heath says the vow renewal ceremony re-centers them and their promises to each other.
“It’s just me and her and Duke….the words that are said really hit home,” said Heath.
Heath and Patricia Forester's wedding program and promise to each other. (Source: Heath and Patricia Forester)
A common theme in their relationship is that they work together always and consider themselves equals.
“She’s as smart as I am and I’m as smart as she is," Heath said.
The process of really knowing one another also comes into play to.
“We know each other, but we also know ourselves," Patricia said.
This is Heath’s third marriage and Patricia’s second, and they said without their previous spouses they wouldn’t be where they are today. They said they've gotten wiser as they've gotten older.
“We are mindful, mindful of our relationship, mindful of what life has been like without each other and we also know that this won’t last forever," Patricia said.
Heath and Patricia Forester during Christmas. (Source: Heath and Patricia Forester)
What’s the key to this love story?
“We are present in our marriage every day,” Patricia said.
Heath compares love to a pool of water that both swim in.
“One doesn’t have more than the other, I don’t have more love for her, and she doesn’t have more love for me. We are both swimming in the same pool,” he said.
For people still looking for love, Heath and Patricia say that true love is out there and they believe everyone is meant to experience it.
“First, figure out what makes you happy as an individual. What you like, what you want to do, what you want to spend your time doing. Then find someone, that hopefully fits into that and that’s what we share,” said Patricia.
Heath and Patricia on their wedding day. (Source: Heath and Patricia Forester)
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