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A look inside homelessness for women in KC

Posted at 6:28 AM, Mar 02, 2016
and last updated 2016-03-02 09:49:09-05

The face of homelessness is changing in Kansas City. Once thought to be a men's problem, the number of women seeking shelter proves otherwise.

Local homeless advocates in the metro say that while the majority of homeless women have children with them, the number of single, homeless women is rising. The resources to help them into jobs and permanent housing are lacking.

The focus is to provide more resources before women lose it all, like Sally and Christine did.

"I just got so depressed and I gave up," Sally said, who wanted to remain anonymous. "Rather than deal with the issues, I drowned them in alcohol and drugs."

The life Sally built, a college-educated mother with a house and two cars, is now shattered.

"I went from that person to living on the streets," Sally said.

She lost it all to addiction. Her life started spinning out of control in 2008. Soon she had no electricity or water in her home. And now she has no home.

"You've disappointed the most important people to you, which are your kids," Sally said.

She says drugs turned her into someone she never thought she'd be.

"I've slept outside. Walked for hours. You're scared. You're cold. You're hot. You're dirty. You feel disgusting. And the more it happens and the longer it is, the more worthless you feel. You feel terrible, so you don't even try," said Sally.

By that time she had lost contact with her entire family. She says they were ashamed of her.

Sally says the the turning point that brought her to rock-bottom was when the man she was with beat her and put her in the hospital.

Sally finally reached out to a shelter, where she crossed paths with many other women with different reasons that brought them to homelessness.

Christine's story is one of abuse, but slowly turning into one of freedom.

"This is a new life, a new change," said Christine. 

Christine had to leave her kids behind with relatives in a different state after escaping the man that abused her for years. She's a part of a long-term recovery program.

"It was hard at first, because I was so used to being abused," Christine said. "And I was always on guard and never felt comfortable anywhere I went."

Sally and Christine are some of the lucky ones. Shelters in Kansas City have extremely long waiting lists for help, and many are at capacity. Some have certain criteria and a screening process. Women with children usually take precedent.

Although Sally finally made it to a shelter, like many women, she didn't stay.

"I freaked out and got drunk and got high and stayed away from here for two weeks, which was really dumb because I was too ashamed to call," Sally said.

She found the strength to return and is back on a productive path she's proud of.

"I just feel so much better as a person, inside, you know? And taking care of myself for the first time in a long time," Sally said.

For Christine, she wasn't able to find a part of herself until she became homeless.

"You know, even though I knew that being a woman was special, I wasn't able to experience that, and I'm getting that right now," Christine said.

She takes comfort in meticulously cleaning the shelter bathrooms, a reminder of home.

"I'm continuing on being a woman, you know what I mean? That's one thing I got here. I get to be a woman," said Christine.

Sally and Christine hope their stories will encourage others to have the courage to seek help.

Homeless advocates like City Union Mission, KC Rescue Mission, and Hope In The Streets say there is a gap in services for single, homeless women.

City Union Mission reports a 40 percent increase in that demographic.

See the map below for homeless shelter locations for women and families in the KC metro. Domestic abuse shelters are also available around the city at Synergy Services, Joyce Williams Shelter, NewHouse, Rose Brooks Center, and Hope House

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Sarah Plake can be reached at sarah.plake@kshb.com.

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