KANSAS CITY, Kans. — Every day, healthcare workers are going into battle with an enemy, unlike anything they've seen before.
These are the stories, told in their own words, of three University of Kansas Health System nurses.
Dru Coleman, University of Kansas Health System R.N.
April 13
"Today is April 13, and I just finished a shift at the hospital. Today was very challenging, very emotional. The hardest part about all of this is that patients aren’t able to have their families and their loved ones at their bedside or at the hospital to help them feel that extra support. Sometimes the closest they can be to their family is over the phone
"We realize, as healthcare workers, doctors, nurses, how difficult and how scary this is for patients and their families. We’re working really hard during this time to help them feel that extra support from us, and I’m so thankful for the support and kindness that we, as nurses and healthcare workers, have been shown from the community."
Sami Johnson, University of Kansas Health System R.N.
Johnson recorded three video diaries marking two days of work.
April 11
"Today’s April 11, and it marks the fourth week I’ve been taking care of patients with known or suspected COVID-19.
"Overall today was a pretty good day. We still have all the PPE we need available, and we also have plenty of beds available at my organization. I think it has really helped that we planned ahead and that we’ve been able to see what has been happening on the coasts to prepare in the Midwest
"I was able to tell two patients today that they’re negative for COVID, which was a huge relief to them. We’re living in a time of uncertainty, and I think being able to capture those moments where you can have a little relief and a little certainty about something, it kind of helps you put the next foot forward.
"I think that’s what we need to do with our patients and what we need to do together as staff while we’re supporting each other."
April 12 - Part one
"Today's April 12. I'm about to start my shift. I just wanted to say Happy Easter.
"Just because we’re apart right now, doesn’t mean we’re not going to get through this together. I want everyone to check in on their family, on their friends, their coworkers.
"I can really tell with my patients that everyone is feeling isolated, and while I can’t replace my patients’ family or friends, just sitting down and checking in and letting people share their concerns and their fears right now is really important. And just having that sense of community. Even sitting around talking with my coworkers, talking about what we’re worried about, is really important right now."
April 12 - Part two
"I really want to be able to provide some profound thought of what it’s like to care for patients who have or we’re ruling out for COVID-19, but I think the hardest part is that right now there’s so many unknowns.
"We have so many great minds trying to figure out this disease, figure out what’s wrong with people. It’s really just exhausting. We’re always on our toes, trying to provide the best care for patients, trying to anticipate what’s going to happen next.
"I think really just the healthcare team coming together, treating the patients the best we can, putting our heads together to really do what’s best and where we think will lead our patients to wellness is the goal that we all have, and we’re just trying to support each other through it, even though there are so many unknowns.
"All we can do is support one another."
Becky Williams, University of Kansas Health System R.N.
Williams is a nurse in the medical surgical ICU that has been converted into the COVID-19 ICU.
"I just got home from work about five minutes ago. It’s about 8:30 at night, and I am pretty exhausted.
"To be totally honest, most people would describe me as a pretty positive, upbeat person, and I really do try to stay that way. But taking care of our COVID-19 patients has been wearing on me. They are just so incredibly sick that I feel like coming home and passing out most of the time.
"Today felt especially hard because we had a patient who has been there for a couple weeks and their family decided to palliatively extubate them today. He seemed very comfortable during it, which was good, that was good. But it was still just very, very hard mentally and emotionally. Just having him there in the room without his family actually physically present with him. We were luckily able to do a Zoom meeting with his whole entire family, and I believe we made it as special and comfortable for him as we possibly could.
"I just feel sometimes like we're throwing so many things at these patients and just trying to get them better, and it just doesn’t seem like it’s working right now. It’s just this uphill battle, and I am just ready to be on the downward slope of all of this. I just need this to be over with. We all just need this to be over with.
"It’s just wearing on your body, on your mind, on your soul, and I go to bed every night and pray that my patients are going to be 10 times better and get the breathing tubes out and go back home to their families, because that’s where we want them all to be, too."
April 14
"It was a hard shift. Our unit is full of very, very sick people right now. Almost every single patient is on a ventilator. They’re on multiple medications that sedate them, they are on medications to help control their pain, and then, because of those medications that they’re on, they’re also on medications to keep their blood pressure up. And even still, we just, it just doesn’t seem like we can get these patients better.
"It has been a very, very rough few weeks since we converted into the ICU. The first patients we saw that had COVID-19 were some of the sickest patients that I’ve ever seen, and it honestly just became sicker from there.
"I have been exhausted every single day coming home from work. I come home, get my scrubs off immediately, obviously, and I pretty much just collapse on the couch until going to work the next day.
"I think I maybe sat down for about 10 minutes today to shove a piece of pizza and a cupcake into my mouth, and then I ran right back out there to get back to the patients.
"It still seems like we are just constantly running, constantly putting out fires, constantly trying to fix things. It just seems never-ending. I just want it to end so badly.
"I am lucky, though. I am very lucky because the team I work with every day, they are resilient, they are amazing providers. Amazing nurses, respiratory therapists, speech, occupational, physical therapists. I truthfully work with some of the strongest healthcare providers in the entire world, in my personal opinion, and if we had a different team, I don’t think we could get through this together.
"I’m so proud of how much we’ve accomplished and how well we’ve taken care of these patients. Even when it doesn’t seem like we have enough staff, enough supplies, enough time, we have just taken this on and have not slowed down, and I am just so proud and happy to work with the people I work with."
Williams went on to describe emails she's receiving almost daily about dwindling supplies of medications. Fentanyl is used for pain control, while propofol and Precedex are used to sedate patients on ventilators.
"Within a week of us turning into the COVID ICU, we got an email stating that fentanyl was on a national shortage and that we would not be able to do fentanyl drips anymore. After that we got another email saying that propofol was on a shortage and we shouldn’t be using as much of that.
"I just don’t know how we can run without these medications when they’re all on a shortage. It does not seem possible, but we are making it work as best we can.
"As for supplies, luckily we haven’t run out of those yet. We get an N-95 mask every shift. We use that, and we get a different gown every single time we go into a patient’s room.
"I feel very safe, but I know it might not always be that way, so honestly, all of us are prepared. We are prepared for the absolute worst. We are prepared for a disaster to hit. We are hoping every single day that that won’t happen to us, but I am frightened that it will."
